Wednesday, January 30, 2008
This is Part B. And we should put a disclaimer that if we missed your great band/event/etc. or there is an error in dates/releases/etc., it's because we suck at this and you should probably stop reading at this point or you'll just be more disappointed in us than you already are. We apologize for everything including the war in Iraq.
FAVORITE DJ/SELECTOR 2007
P-Trix - We hadn't seen P-Trix (aka Patrick Arriola) since he won the DMC Championship in 1999 and then we stumbled onto his residency at Club Rockit. As a member of the now-legendary crew IF2 (Immortal Fader Fyters), P-Trix once ruled the land in underground DJ battles. We actually got our ass handed to us once by him at an ITF regional battle, which coincidentally was the day we sold our 1200's for a laptop computer. In any case, even though turntablism has lost some of its glory, the guy still lays down the tracks as good as anyone else. We're hoping to see more of P behind the decks in 08.
FAVORITE SOUND MANIPULATOR 2007
Nosaj Thing - Sure, Flying Lotus, Glitch Mob, and Daedelus got all the big press but Nosaj Thing (aka Jason Chung) totally blew our minds in 2007. His "Views/Octopus" EP was just a mere glimpse of what he has in store for Los Angeles. And don't be thrown by his laid-back approach to this sets. You'll quickly be bouncing off the walls with a few EQ turns and MPC taps. No doubt, everyone who's had the pleasure of seeing him live knows he's minutes away from blowing up in 08.
FAVORITE BAND NAME CHANGE 2007
2007 was the year of un-fucking band names. First, The New Motherfuckers changed their name to Pizza!, which of course is brilliant because who doesn't like pizza!? Then Ima Fucking Gymnist changed their name to Ima Gymnist. Not to mention, PRS HLTN, MTHRFCKRS!! hated the name so much they broke up. All in all, it was certainly time to get the eff away from that infamous 4-letter word and grow up a little. Now if Good Charlotte could just change their name to Horrible Shit the world would be a better place.
FAVORITE MYSPACE BAND PROFILE PHOTO 2007
Captain Ahab - The MySpace profile photo is probably the most important piece of promotional media a band can have and no other band utilized that space better than Captain Ahab. Their photo set by local artisan Renata Raksha will stand the test of time as some of the most beautifully hilarious images in the history of disco metal. You cannot take your eyes off of them and it would be pointless to resist.
FAVORITE BOOKER/PROMOTER 2007
Sean Carnage - Carnage kills. His nights are untouchable. He books bands that won't even answer our emails and he still has time to support other shows, market his DVD, and produce films. He showcases the best in experimental, ghettotronic, (fill in the blank)core, weird folk, and every kind of punk band there is. Plus, his high and tight crewcut is pretty damn fierce.
BEST EMBRACES 2007
Music is cool and all but hugs are the best. Sure, music can uplift the spirit but the power of a hug or a handshake is pretty life-changing too. Try it, you'll like it.
Emma Burgess - Ms. Emma has one of those hugs that make you feel like you're in a De Beers commercial. Seriously, you want to propose to this girl after just one hug. Is that Cat Power singing in my head? And why am I crying? Oh, wait, I just hugged Emma Burgess.
Joe Fielder (RadioFreeSilverLake.com)- We've met Joe once in our lives and it was the firmest handshake we've ever had. That along with his well-tailored suits and strong jawline makes him a sure thing in the next California primaries. Seriously, his handshakes could make mountains move or at least less traffic on the 101-110 interchange.
Nikki & Aaron Embry (Amnion) - Nikki hugs with her soul. She also gives a little scratch of the back when she does so. Not enough people backscratch when they hug. Learn from Nikki. She's the patron saint of hugscratches. Not to be outdone, Aaron is no slouch either. Strong yet giving, it's a hug you won't soon forget. Together, their hugs are a force to be reckoned with... Amnionic.
Christian Biel (The Transmissions) - Christian's embraces are well-renowned the world over. You'll find that it's never about the first touch for him, it's the second and third that matter. If you don't know what we're talking about, well then, shake hands or hug Christian Biel.
The Happy Hollows - Make no mistake, there's nothing hollow about Chris and Charlie handshakes. Both have strong grips and they look at you dead in the eye as if you just closed the deal on your 2500-square foot dream home. And, as for Sarah, if you've ever seen someone walking around Echo Park in a grade school crush state of bliss it's probably because they've just been Negahdari'd.
Summer Darling - With a name like Summer Darling you know you're in for some serious affection when you meet and greet this band. They're known for their sweet displays of head cradling, back-to-front embraces, and the always-welcome massage hugs. Their technique is utterly flawless and genuinely heartfelt.
Anonymous Man on Skid Row, Los Angeles - One late evening in April, after a show at The Cocaine, we took the long way to the 101 (i.e. we took a wrong turn) and at a stop sign near skid row we met a elderly gentleman who stood with a sign that read nothing but "thirsty" on it. After giving him all our fourth meal money, he extended his hand to shake ours, but when he did so he did the double handshake, or the "handwhich". It's our favorite handshake but one we rarely receive. We could almost feel every year of his life on skid row in that handshake. Los Angeles is the homeless capital of the United States. We need to do something about that.
Parts 3 and 4 tomorrow.
